Don't Cry Out
by notyourdaughter
Summary: "Because even after all the wounds I bare, I could never stop loving you, Mello."


SONGFIC!!11 Okay, I know some people are going to be mentally screaming at this, because they love Mello way to much to see him be such a jerk, but just you wait, MUCHTURNAROUNDO!:D

Start listening to "Don't Cry Out" by the Shiny Toy Guns, while reading this.

I am utterly entranced by this song, I LOVE IT!

And I do say, that I miss Carah Faye terribly...D:.

Ahhh well. M just to be safe,ya know. MelloxMatt

--

Matt sighed and gently touched the bruise under his cheekbone. He slipped silently down the wall, feeling the new wound on his back ache in protest.

He was glad Mello had stormed off and out of the apartment, yelling obscenities as he slammed the door, causing the single picture on the wall to tumble down, glass shattering. Matt turned his aching head to stare at the broken picture on the floor. Matt bit his already swollen lip to fight back the tears threatening to spill over as he eyed the image in the frame...

_I don't get you..._

Mello had his arms around Matt, pulling him close as Matt placed a quick kiss on Mello's unsuspecting lips. At the time, Matt had cursed the women on the beach for catching such a candid moment (and especially taking a picture of it when all they'd asked was for a shot in front of the ocean). But later, Matt was grateful. Everytime he looked at the print, he felt that maybe,just maybe, this would all stop and they would go back to being that happy couple on the beach,snatching kisses when they assumed no one was looking.

But that time seemed so long ago...

and Matt assumed Mello had just forgotten such a time completely.

_I can't forget what you've forgotten...  
all along._

Matt slipped farther down the wall, no longer being able to hold the salty annoyances in. The only person who'd ever stayed with him in this world, the only person that mattered, had abandoned him. Left him in the shadows to wallow alone.

_I've never been so alone..._

Matt's head whirled as he wondered how it had ever gotten this way. He detested himself for letting all his feelings out like this."Such a weak person couldn't deserve anything good...could they?", Matt thought.

_Don't cry out.  
Cease fire..._

Matt sobbed lightly as he remembered the way Mello used to hold him when he cried...

_I was pretending.  
Your secret kiss of confidence..._

**-- **Matt sobbed into Mello's warm chest, soaking the thin black shirt between.

" I-I...they j-just left me M-mello...I-I...", Matt sniffled,feeling Mello's loving hand smooth his hair.

"Shhhh...Matt...It's okay...no matter what anybody else does,I'm here. I'm always here.", Mello had said, tilting Matt's flushed face up to meet his own, lips meeting lips.

"I love you...Mello..."

"Matt...I-I love you too.More than anything.I'll never hurt you.",Mello had said touching Matt's cheek lovingly.--

_Was my escape..._

_The perfect game to play._

_Don't cry out now..._

_Cease fire..._

Matt was jolted from his reminiscence as he heard the unrefined stomping that could only be Mello walking up the stairs.

His eyes spilled over with tears as he thought of what was to come.

_Ten nine eight and I'm breaking away..._

-- "Mello, no! Mello...!"

Mello jerked Matt by the back of his hair, forcing him to look up at Mello's cold eyes."What was that?",he said through clenched teeth.

"Y-your hurting me...ow!", Matt whimpered feeling Mello's teeth sink sharply into his tender shoulder blade.

Mello hissed feeling Matt struggle under him. "It doesn't seem your being a very good dog tonight does it...?",Mello said jerking Matt's head back again.

As he saw the familiar water run down Matt's face he felt a pang of something in his heart and head, but he immediately pushed it as far back as something like that could be.

_I'm all dressed up and I'm ready to play.  
Seven six five four and I'm all over you..._

"Mello...",Matt whimpered.

"NO.Don't try to play your pathetic tears on me,dog! You listen to me,understand?!", Mello shouted, plunging himself into the weeping Matt.--

_  
Counting three two one and I'm having fun..._

Matt shivered into the wall remembering such a painful eidetic and foreshadowing what was probably to come.

_Your fascination...  
With naked walls of silk and skin..._

Matt heard the crunching of glass. He started scrambling over to the bed. He hoped...

_With no conditions..._

...that maybe it would be the last time. That Mello would remember how they had loved and protected each other. How Matt had held Mello through the darkest times...how he kissed Mello's tears away and chased away the demons. The way he had nursed him and loved him so unconditionally. Matt touched his forehead again, flinching under his cold fingers. He pressed down harder, liking the way it made his head spin and the wound pulse.

_I needed you to notice..._

"I must be pretty sick...", Matt whispered to himself.

Matt's green eyes widened as he heard footsteps outside the door, he always thought the sound of the floor creaking was nice, homey even, but now he hated it. He thought again about how he resented himself for being such a pathetic, whiney-ass, tool. And he thought,again, even though he hated himself, he could never hate Mello. After everything that he had done, the painful nights with Mello forging himself into Matt's abused entrance, the beatings and the names, he still loved Mello.  
He sighed, knowing full-well that the blonde-haired abuser did not feel the same way about him. Did he? He couldn't.

_That's all I wanted..._

He closed his eyes and felt the wind rush through his hair as the door swung open. Not as harshly as usual, Matt noted

Matt opened his crying-swollen eyes to see that Mello had not screamed at him yet. In fact, he hadn't said anything, just looked down at the scuff marks on his heavy boots. The beaten red-head heard Mello let out a small breath.

"M-Matt..."

Matt was puzzled. It had been quite some time since Mello had adressed him with such a kind tone. He watched as the blonde lifted his head. Blue-eyes boring into green ones. Matt was quite taken aback to look into Mello's eyes and notice something that looked suspiciously like...tears.

_Don't cry out... _

"Matt...", Mello breathed again. Matt stared at Mello, then shifted a little, wincing at the obvious pain this brought his beaten body.

Mello saw this and sobbed lightly, making Matt nervous.

_Cease fire..._

"Matt...I-I'm sorry!", Mello blurted out. Matt froze on the bed, taking the word's he thought he would never hear in.

"Mello...", Matt said. He was at a loss for words.

_That's all I wanted..._

"No,Matt,you don't need to say anything!", Mello sobbed. "I've been such a horrible person..after you trusted me,Matt!"

The tears fell endlessly as the blonde spoke. Again, Matt had no idea what to say.

_That's all I wanted..._

"I lost sight of how much...we were s-so in l...love, M-m-matt...I-i..."

Matt had no idea where this came from or if it was even real, but all he knew was that he understood what Mello said.

"Y-you were always there f-for me Matt, always...s...and l-look at this!",he said, pointing towards Matt's bruised face.

Matt couldn't take the sight of Mello crying anymore, after all, his pain was Matt's pain.

Matt stepped forward and grabbed the sobbing blonde, emercing him in the gamer's warm embrace. Mello sobbed into Matt's striped chest, feeling Matt wince and crying harder.

"Matt...I understand that you can't forgive me...and y-you can't love me anym...ore...", Mello hiccuped.

Matt stared down at Mello in visible disbelief. "Ugh.Great,more fucking tears", Matt thought as he cried,holding the blonde close.

"Not love you? Mello,I've waited so long for this to happen...for you to remember...", Matt trailed off,staring into Mello's intense sapphire eyes.

"Matt...", Mello breathed, kissing the weeping red-head feverishly.

"I promise to god I will never hurt you again...I'll kill myself if I do...", he said, gasping for air.

_Don't cry out..._

"Don't cry, Matt...I'm here.", Mello said, kissing the other male's tears away.

Matt looked into Mello's eyes again. " That's all I wanted...", he said,losing himself in Mello's kiss.

_That's all I wanted..._

--

Soooooooo, I couldn't just just make my dear Mello a complete and total bastard, now could I?

I wasn't especially exstatic about how this ended, but I was trying to watch It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia, while doing the end, so I was a taaaad distracted. Ok,more than a tad,but whaaaaatever.

So, youknoeees,review please, dears??11?!


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